Monday, January 23, 2012

Loving you is easy, but......

Loving you is easy, but sometimes being your wife is hard. I was recently stunned to find these words rolling off of my tongue. These words may be harsh but on days it is how I feel. After I said it I instantly  wanted to take it back. It sounded so uncaring and unkind. I know the old saying is that the truth hurts. Well I pray it didn't hurt my husband. The fact is it probably hurt me more than it did him. It is hard to come to realizations of inadequacy, incompetence and little worth. Even if those realizations are unfounded and just based on the world around me and not truth. Truth is, none of the feelings of unworthiness rushing around in my head and my heart even come from my husband and  they certainly don't come from God. They come from what society and the world has told us women (and men) what we women should be and look like. You know a beautiful, young, perky, size 5, woman with no sags and wrinkles. Which kind of makes the rest of us normal built women uneasy at best.
The dilemma I have is that I don't see what my husband sees in me. You see in my eyes my husband is a successful businessman and quite the catch. To me he is a very handsome, smart, sexy, and a loving, godly man, so what woman wouldn't want him. Me feeling this way is a good thing. I am suppose to love him unconditionally and want to be with him. This is the easy to love him part. He is so easy to love.  The problem lies within the times that I view myself (and the way I think my husband views me) not through God's eyes but the worlds eyes. My husband comes in contact with some beautiful, smart, got it together, well dressed women on a daily basis. What he gets with me on a daily basis is not quite that well dressed, got it all together woman. The truth of the matter is that there are days when I am so un-together that I don't even get a shower, must less be a well dressed woman. I don't have a college education so I don't view myself as smart and with me not being a size 5 and the fact that the perky skin has turned into hormonal aging skin doesn't help me view myself as beautiful. I wonder, if this is how I view myself, than how else could my husband view me. Our society has drifted so far away from what real beauty is that we as children of God(men and women) can't see the real beauty standing right before us in our mirrors. I don't know about you, but I am so tired of listening day in and day out to the lies of the great deceiver, Satan! We as wives and mothers must pray for our families that they to will no longer be deceived. We also must teach our daughters and son's where a woman and man's real beauty and worth comes from. It comes from their being a child of God and being of godly character. Their worth comes from their salvation in Christ. When we think of ourselves in a worldly way, we will always be comparing ourselves to others; our size, our beauty, our finances and when we think of ourselves in His way we will see the value we have because of God's grace. We are justified by Faith. (Romans 3:22-23)22 even the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all those who believe; for there is no distinction;23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. The gospel is the great equalizer. We all have sinned and fall short. We are all in need of salvation. (Romans 5:8- But, God demonstrates His own love toward us that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.) We are loved by the Creator of Life, the One True God so much that He sent His Son to die for us. Now that's true worth.
I am going to vow right now, to try and pray everyday for the Lord to give me and my family new eyesight to see His truth's and wisdom not those of the deceiver. To acknowledge everyday and be grateful that our worth doesn't come from the world's lies, it comes from a Great and Powerful God, who looks well beyond the wretched outer clothing of ourselves to see the holy coverings of our beautiful Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Thank you Lord!

My family thinks today's recipe is worthy of some yummy praise.
Chicken Pepperoni 
2 tablespoons olive oil
4 to 6 boneless, skinless chicken breast
1 tablespoon Italian seasoning
1 24 oz. jar of your favorite pasta sauce
8-12 sandwich sized pepperoni's, (more if you use the ones for pizza)
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
3 to 4 slices of mozzarella or provolone cheese (you may use shredded if you like probably about a cup)

Heat oven to 375 degrees.Coat 9x13 baking pan with olive oil, roll chicken breast around in oil. Sprinkle Italian seasoning evenly over chicken.

pour 1/2 the sauce over chicken, then place 2 pepperonis on each breast then pour the remaining sauce over chicken and pepperoni.

                                                       Sprinkle the grated parmesan cheese on chicken breast.

                Cover with foil and bake at 375 degrees for 35 to 40 min.

Take off foil and place Mozzarella slices on top of chicken. Place back in oven and bake until cheese is hot and bubbly.

I serve it over top of pasta, with a side salad and garlic bread.


  1. Sounds Yummy! I enjoyed your commentary as well. I made a similar goof this past weekend over a foolish pet peeve. But I love her just the same and don't deserve her at the same time. I am sure Dave knows what a great woman of God he has.

  2. Thanks Eric, You know he lets me know all of the time how much he appreciates me, that's why I knew the deceiver was behind it all. It's amazing how the world just takes over our thoughts when we don't daily sit at the feet of Jesus.
    The Chicken Pepperoni was created for Brandon, my child who eats chicken and pizza so I combined it for him. I don't normally like pepperoni heated but this isn't half bad.